


It Will Rain

by Crizz



Category: DBSK|Tohoshinki|TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 22:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crizz/pseuds/Crizz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone gets left behind (horrible summary, yes I know~)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Will Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it won't be too confusing on whose P.O.V this was

  
  
**If you ever leave me, baby,  
Leave some morphine at my door  
'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication  
To realize what we used to have,  
We don't have it anymore. **  
  
  
Looking back, he can’t quite point out when and  _why_  things happened the way they did. There were no one specific reason, no one mega  _definite_  event that he could place the blame on.  
  
Somehow.. somewhere along their life, they just drifted further apart until one day he turned and wondered why the man who had vowed to stay by his side forever are now way over across the room.. so close and too far at the same time.  
  
He recognized the look in his lover’s eyes.  
The smile, the laughter, those shy glances, that fine rosy blush spread across that soft caramel-coloured skin.  
Soft smiles that used to reserve just for him are now trained on another.  
  
And he wondered just when did he lost ‘ _them_ ’..  
  
  
  
 **There's no religion that could save me  
No matter how long my knees are on the floor  
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'  
To keep you by my side  
To keep you from walkin' out the door.**  
  
  
He never thinks much about God and religion before.  
That is more of his lover’s alley.. No matter how many times the other tried to drag him to go to one of those Sunday mass or how many times the other man tried to tell him about the wonders of God’s creation, he would just smiled indulgently at his lover’s eager sweet face and pecked those pouting lips in affection.  
  
No, he never really believes in Higher Being that is responsible for his life and fate. If one works hard enough, there is  _nothing_  one can’t achieve and no some mythical creature or whatnot could say otherwise – that was what he believed in … once.  
  
Now he found himself kneeling and bowing to the same God that he mocked before.  
Desperately believing.. desperately begging to please give him a chance.. please bring the only person he could ever imagine loving back into his arms.  
 _‘Could this be a punishment for not believing?’_  he cried inside.  
Silence.  
There would be no answer for the sinner..  
And he keeps on praying.  
  
Because apparently no matter how hardworking, how relentless one is… there is no miracle strong enough to force one’s heart to accept those it didn’t have feelings for.  
  
  
  
 **Cause there’ll be no sunlight  
If I lose you, baby  
There’ll be no clear skies  
If I lose you, baby  
Just like the clouds  
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away  
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...**  
  
  
He traced lightly his reflection in the mirror and marveled at the wonders of chemical concoction that we called make-up.  
Amazing how as much as he felt broken and rotted inside, his outward appearance is still as beautiful as ever. Fans and colleagues alike keep on showering praises on his ethereal look.. Sometimes he idly entertained the thought that perhaps he’s like an overly-ripened fruit. Red and shiny and pretty on the outside but the slightest press would cause the skin to burst open and revealed the rotten mush inside.  
  
He used to feel as beautiful as people rumored him to be.. When  _he_  was around and it seemed like the entire world were carved only for them, when he looked ahead and there  _he_  was: smiling cheekily with sunlight streaming from behind casting the other in a bright glow that matched  _his_  bright soul.  
When he looked down to see their tightly entwined hands; that was when he felt the most beautiful… most loved. When he woke up in the middle of the night to warm sleepy embrace; that was when he felt the most peaceful.. To hear the other’s heartbeat drumming steadily against his ears, that was when he believed in miracles – because how else could one explained that among the vast sea of wondering lonely souls, he would find the one that complete him.. that were meant wholly for and only him.  
  
Except that he was wrong.  
  
As much as he believed that the other is his one and only, it wasn’t reciprocated. He was only a temporary oasis in the desert until the other find  _his_  own heartmate.  
  
Which begging words could he possibly say? How could he fix it? What other gifts could he possibly present? As he already carved his heart out to be offered to the other – cupped in trembling bloody hands and loving eyes.. only to see it smashed down to the hard ground with regretful gentle voice and saddened look.  
He wished… he wanted to be angry and punch and stomp and throw things around..  
But all he could do was stared numbly at the ground – the sound of his lov..  _ex ( _‘no longer mine..’_ )_ retreating footsteps echoed in his mind.  
Further and further – away towards  _his_  new beloved.  
  
The beautiful one that was left behind could only stood there with his own reflection staring back at him. Unaware those gentle rivulets of wet drops cutting through his layers of superficial masks.  
  
And lightning slashed across the crying sky..  
  
  
  
 **I’ll never be your mother’s favorite  
Your daddy can’t even look me in the eye  
If I was in their shoes, I’d be doing the same thing  
Sayin there goes my little girl  
Walkin’ with that troublesome guy**  
  
  
So many people loves him.. since he was small, he never have to do anything much to gain anyone’s attention. Like magnets, others’ eyes would instantly attract to him wherever he goes.  
  
Thus it was a surprised when he was the one who had to do all the pursuit of the other when they first met. He wasn’t sure if the other were a tease or too ignorant or just too naïve to understand why this beautiful boy is chasing  _him_  when there were others vying for his attention elsewhere. Those innocent quizzical looks he often received drove him mad sometimes.. and yet, perhaps those were the same things that made him relentless in forcing his way into the other’s life that time.  
  
Even after they finally got together, things weren’t easy for him. While they have active supports from half the fans, the same can’t be said for his lover’s parents.  
For someone who is used to instant affection and adoration showered upon him, it was hard for him to accept how much the two persons his other half respected the most in the world hate him with a passion that even surprised their son. There was nothing he could do to make them like or even accept him a little. They were never rude but quite the opposite instead: polite to the point of making he felt worse than a stranger, let alone the one who is sleeping with their son.  
That never deterred him from loving the other though.. Love him so much that he’s willing to subject himself to emotional and psychological abuse each time his lover’s parents were in town.  
  
Not only that, the youngest of them all is growing up and had set eyes on his lover.  
Again, he wasn’t scared..  
After all, the other was almost cute in his boy-crush. As for the parents, well.. no one would be fine finding out that their only son is gay. So really, he never take any of it personally.. It was just their upbringing and cultural constraint that differs from his view. It wasn’t him that they didn’t like.. It was what he represents for their son.  
  
He fully believed in that until he heard how much they adored their son’s lover now.. The same boy that grew from having a cute boy-crush to fullblown love, now owned everything he ever dreamed of and  _had_..  
  
  
  
 **But they're just afraid of something they can't understand  
Ooh well little darlin’ watch me change their minds  
Yeah for you, I'll try, I'll try, I'll try, I'll try  
I’ll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleedin'  
If that would make it right**  
  
  
For all his perfections, he’s just not enough.  
And never will be.  
  
He wonders if he ever was..  
  
  
  
 **Cause there’ll be no sunlight  
If I lose you, baby  
There’ll be no clear skies  
If I lose you, baby  
Just like the clouds  
My eyes will do the same if you walk away  
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...**  
  
  
Is he pathetic to keep on hoping?  
….. But he can’t help it.  
He can’t see a way out.  
  
 _Move on._  
People keep saying that.  
  
And while his head understand that, his heart refuses to forget..  
Refuses to think that this was just another snag in this road we called life.  
  
Sympathetic looks and advises aplenty but sometimes we as human beings – in all our pride of our own emphatic capabilities, forgot that no two heartbreaks are the same.  
Each has their own stories and flavors and no one could ever say  _‘I understand..’_  because they don’t.. they  _won’t_. We all learn and experience and feel at different rate.. And each tale deserves to be heard.. to be savored..  
  
To be  _’mourned’_ …  
  
  
  
 **Don’t just say, goodbye  
Don’t just say, goodbye  
I’ll pick up these broken pieces ’til I’m bleeding  
If that would make it right**  
  
  
Funny how the more one wants to forget, more vividly one would remember.  
  
He still remembers how the sweet smell of honeysuckle permeated across the room from the open window. How the balmy breeze gently blew against the white lacy curtains. How he idly wonders about the chocolate chip cookies he had left in the oven as a surprise to the household especially his lover, seeing as he hadn’t cook in quite a while.  
He remembers vividly the splash of red against the black marble counter top– courtesy of one of them spilling the tomato ketchup during breakfast that morning. He remembers the gentle humming of laundry in the washing machine and which shirt his lover is wearing that day (blue with green stripes that frayed slightly at the sleeves and there was the tiniest of hole at the collar, near the buttonhole).  
  
Most of all, he remembers  _his_  gentle voice calling.. apologizing… leaving…  
The distant pain on his palms due to the tight fists he had subconsciously clenched.. how the bathroom never seemed so far away at that moment. How bitter the taste of acidity in his mouth as he sat there hugging the white cold porcelain toilet bowl - his half-digested breakfast flushed away.  
… And how he wonders when did his heart stop beating? And why hasn’t he realized it before now..  
  
  
Wasn't it too easy?  
With few words, his entire universe ended.  
  
 _He_  is too cruel with  _his_  kindness..  
  
People come and go and leave their marks..  
What would happen to those left behind?  
With all these memories..  
How could  _they_  step forward when their entire beings.. their entire souls were chained to the past?  
  
  
  
 **Cause there’ll be no sunlight  
If I lose you, baby  
There’ll be no clear skies  
If I lose you, baby  
Just like the clouds  
My eyes will do the same if you walk away  
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...**  
  
  
Please.. Please.. Please..  
  
Don’t let it end like this.  
  
I’m begging  
  
Come back to me..  
  
  
  
  
  
 _Finis~_  
  
  
  
 **A/N:**

  
  
\- Annyeong everyone :D.. It’s been a long while since I wrote YunJaeHo, huh? Sorry if it sucks.. OTL.

  
\- I think everyone knows whose POV this was.. This is the first time I wrote a fic completely without mentioning any names and not from  _that person_  POV, I think? So~ dou desuka? Is it okay?? Or bad?? I really enjoyed writing this..   



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